Men as trees...

I came home from work just now to discover that all the trees in my yard were being cut down. I understand the one dead tree in the back yard, but not the ones in front of my windows. I feel as if I'm going to die. Those close to me (and who used to be) know how difficult it is living in this house. One of the very few joys of living in this house was watching the squirrels play around on those trees. My stomach is digesting itself. I'm struggling desperately to hold back the tears. With the destruction of these trees comes the destruction of my dear squirrels' homes. The squirrels are so dear to me. They greet me when I leave the front door, following me to my car...they watch me do my homework and tease my cats...Regardless of whether or not the reader believes in totem animals, I recently was told by someone that my totem is the squirrel (just thought I'd throw that in for a melodramatic touch). In all seriousness, I feel like a part of my ability to feel joy is dying. I'm losing so much with these trees. I just now lost my fight with the tears. At any rate, I no longer have anything keeping me in this house. My happiness is gone.